God's Will

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."-Matthew 6:33

The longer I live, the more I realize that life is uncertain. We cannot predict what will happen, nor can we control our circumstances. The only time we can really ever be sure of is the present moment.

For years now, I have agonized over the will of God for my life. But more and more I am realizing that God's will is not a question of where I should go or what I should do, nor is it a question of who I should marry, or whether I should be a missionary or not. God's will for my life is that "I seek first His kingdom", and by doing that, the choices I make concerning the future will be God's will for my life.

Sometimes I wish God would just tell me exactly what to do, where to go, and how to chose, but "Jesus only requires that I make sure my heart is good, motives pure, and my basic direction is right, and then I can, in good concience, choose from among many reasonable alternatives and continue to do the will of God." (Jerry Sittser)

For the past week or so, I have been reading through Donald Miller's book "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years". What I have loved about this book is that it calls you to "brutal honestly about your life. It calls you to write and then live a better story with your life, while acknowledging that there is a Writer above you also writing your story." One of my favorite lines from the book is Donald's perspective on the Bible's instructions for living a meaningful life:

"It is interesting that in the Bible, in the book of Ecclesiastes, the only practical advice given about living a meaningful life is to find a job you like, enjoy your marriage, and obey God. It's as though God is saying, Write a good story, take somebody with you, and let me help."- Donald Miller

The more insight the Lord gives me on determining His will, the more I am encouraged. Knowing that the daily choices we make to honor and serve God determine whether we are doing His will brings me peace. Praise be to God that we already know the will of God for our daily lives, how ever cloudy the future may be.

"We had to learn... that it did not matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life but instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life, daily and hourly. Our answer must consist not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for the individual." -Victor Frankl

Singled Out by God for Good

by Paige Benton Brown

"Had I any vague premonition of my present plight when I was six, I would have demanded that Stephen Herbison (incontestably the catch of the second grade) put his marriage proposal into writing and have it notarized. I do want this piece to be practical, so to all you first-graders: CARPE DIEM.

Over the past several years I have perfected the artistry of escape regarding any singles functions—cookouts, conferences, Sunday school classes, and my personal favorite, putt-putt. My avoidance mechanism is triggered not so much by a lack of patience with such activities as it is by a lack of stomach for the pervasive attitudes. Thoreau insists that most men lead lives of quiet desperation; I insist that many singles lead lives of loud aggravation. Being immersed in singles can be like finding yourself in the midst of "The Whiners" of 1980's Saturday Night Live—it gives a whole new meaning to "pity party."

Much has been written in Christian circles about singleness. The objective is usually either to chide the married population for their misunderstanding and segregationism or to empathize with the unmarried population as they bear the cross of “Plan B” for the Christian life, bolstered only by the consolation prizes of innumerable sermons on I Corinthians 7 and the fact that you can cut your toenails in bed. Yet singles, like all believers, need scriptural critique and instruction seasoned by sober grace, not condolences and putt-putt accompanied with pious platitudes.

John Calvin’s secret to sanctification is the interaction of the knowledge of God and knowledge of self. Singles, like all other sinners, typically dismiss the first element of the formula, and therein lies the root of all identity crises. It is not that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, but that life has no tragedy like our God ignored. Every problem is a theological problem, and the habitual discontent of us singles is no exception.

Can God be any less good to me on the average Tuesday morning than he was on that monumental Friday afternoon when he hung on a cross in my place? The answer is a resounding NO. God will not be less good to me tomorrow either, because God cannot be less good to me. His goodness is not the effect of his disposition but the essence of his person—not an attitude but an attribute.

I long to be married. My younger sister got married two months ago. She now has an adoring husband, a beautiful home, a whirlpool bathtub, and all-new Corningware. Is God being any less good to me than he is to her? The answer is a resounding NO. God will not be less good to me because God cannot be less good to me. It is a cosmic impossibility for God to shortchange any of his children. God can no more live in me apart from the perfect fullness of his goodness and grace than I can live in Nashville and not be white. If he fluctuated one quark in his goodness, he would cease to be God.

Warped theology is at the heart of attempts to "explain" singleness:

• "As soon as you’re satisfied with God alone, he’ll bring someone special into your life”—as though God’s blessings are ever earned by our contentment.
• "You’re too picky”—as though God is frustrated by our fickle whims and needs broader parameters in which to work.
• "As a single you can commit yourself wholeheartedly to the Lord’s work”—as though God requires emotional martyrs to do his work, of which marriage must be no part.
• "Before you can marry someone wonderful, the Lord has to make you someone wonderful"—as though God grants marriage as a second blessing to the satisfactorily sanctified.

Accepting singleness, whether temporary or permanent, does not hinge on speculation about answers God has not given to our list of whys, but rather on celebration of the life he has given. I am not single because I am too spiritually unstable to possibly deserve a husband, nor because I am too spiritually mature to possibly need one. I am single because God is so abundantly good to me, because this is his best for me. It is a cosmic impossibility that anything could be better for me right now than being single, The psalmists confirm that I should not want, I shall not want, because no good thing will God withhold from me.

Such knowledge of God must transform subsequent knowledge of self-theological readjustment is always the catalyst for renewed self-awareness. This keeps identity right-side-up with nouns and modifiers in their correct place. Am I a Christian single or am I a single Christian? The discrepancy in grammatical construction may be somewhat subtle, but the difference in mindset is profound. Which word is determinative and which is descriptive? You see, we singles are chronic amnesiacs—we forget who we are, we forget whose we are. I am a single Christian. My identity is not found in my marital status but in my redemptive status. I 'm one of the "haves," not one of the "have-nots."

Have you ever wondered at what age one is officially single? Perhaps a sliding scale is in order: 38 for a Wall Street tycoon; 21 for a Mississippi sorority girl; 14 for a Zulu princess; and five years older than I am for me. It is a relevant question because at some point we see ourselves as “single,” and that point is a place of greater danger than despair. Singleness can be a mere euphemism for self-absorption—now is the "you time." No wife to support? No husband to pamper? Well, then, by all means join three different golf courses, get a weekly pedicure, raise emus, subscribe to People.

Singleness is never carte blanche for selfishness. A spouse is not a sufficient countermeasure for self. The gospel is the only antidote for egocentricity. Christ did not come simply to save us from our sins, he came to save us from our selves. And he most often rescues us from us through relationships, all kinds of relationships.

"Are you seeing anyone special?" a young matron in my home church asked patronizingly. "Sure," I smiled. "I see you and you’re special."

OK, my sentiment was a little less than kind, but the message is true.
To be single is not to be alone. If someone asks if you are in a relationship right now, your immediate response should be that you are in dozens. Our range of relational options is not limited to getting married or to living in the sound-proof, isolated booth of Miss America pageants. Christian growth mandates relational richness.

The only time folks talk about human covenants is in premarital counseling. How anemic. If our God is a covenantal God, then all of our relationships are covenantal. The gospel is not about how much I love God (I typically love him very little); it is about how much God loves me. My relationships are not about how much friends should love me, they are about how much I get to love them. No single should ever expect relational impoverishment by virtue of being single. We should covenant to love people— to initiate, to serve, to commit.
Many of my Vanderbilt girls have been reading Lady in Waiting, a popular book for Christian women struggling with singleness. That’s all fine and dandy, but what about a subtitle: And Meanwhile, Lady, Get Working. It is a cosmic impossibility for God to require less of me in my relationships than he does of the mother of four whose office is next door. Obedience knows no ages or stages.

Let’s face it: singleness is not an inherently inferior state of affairs. If it were, heaven would be inferior to this world for the majority of Christians (Mom is reconciled to being unmarried in glory as long as she can be Daddy’s roommate). But I want to be married. I pray to that end every day. I may meet someone and walk down the aisle in the next couple of years because God is so good to me. I may never have another date and die an old maid at 93 because God is so good to me. Not my will but his be done. Until then I am claiming as my theme verse, “If any man would come after me, let him. . . "

My Bucket List

1. Walk where Jesus walked.

2. Finish a half marathon.

3. Get married to the love of my life.

4. Live overseas.

5. Become a skilled piano player.

6. Lead worship.

7. Open my own business.

8. Go Skydiving.

9. Be in two places at once.

10. Light up the darkness.

"For my part, I will be satisfied not to have some great tombstone over my grave but just to know that common people will gather there once I am gone and say, "He was a good man. He never performed any miracles but he told me about Christ, which led me to know Him for myself."-George Matheson

"I Can't Live by what I Feel

but by the truth Your word reveals." -Casting Crowns

Today I had one of those mornings. One of those mornings when you wake up and as soon as your feet hit the floor, your usual "enjoyment of God's grace is suddenly lessened by the memory of yesterdays sins and blunders." (apologies to Oswald Chambers)

Thanks Satan.

For those of you that don't believe in spiritual warfare, I am here to tell you it's real. Satan will use anything He can (especially our memory) to get us to doubt God's forgiveness and grace and shift our focus from Him to ourselves.

I wish that I could tell you that as soon as I heard the lies, I was able to shift my focus back on God's mercy and grace, but this was not the case. I started to beat myself up about this, but then remembered that God, being the compassionate loving guy He is, would continue to show me that its okay. This morning it was the first verse I read for the day,

"Forget the former things;

do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?"

-Isaiah 43:18-19

When I read these words my soul awakened.

I have been forgiven, set free, and don't have to dwell on those things anymore. My penalty has already been paid- by blood -in full.

Case Dismissed.

God is awake

I have never understood why I can go for weeks, terrible weeks, feeling like I can't see God at all, to seeing Him in any and every situation. If God were not God, I would probably place the blame on Him. I would probably accuse Him of going into self mode and assume His disappearance was simply because He could not handle the mess of a person I am any longer with out a break, or that he was tired of dealing with my selfishness.

But God is God. And I know Him better than that.

So then if God is always around, The most obvious answer to our "lack of communication" is that it is my fault. I am the one who has either a) gone into self-mode, b) forgotten how to listen, c) gotten to busy for my savior, or d) treated my time with Him as another task to check off my “to do” list for the day.

My entire life I have been trained to use my mind to get information and complete assignments in the most timely manner possible. But the God revealed to me in scripture and in the person of Christ is infinitely personal, relational, and is not in a hurry. So Unless I make time to enter into His presence prepared to be quiet and listen, I am confident He will "disappear" again.

Another thing I have noticed during the periods of time when I don't make time for God, is that small little mishaps become tragedies. Literally. When I take my eyes of Christ, what He has done for me on the cross, and the reason He has placed me here (to serve Him through serving others), the daily drudgery and normality's of this thing called life turn into the end of my world. But when I am focused on Christ the way I should be, I see them for what they really are...ways God is making me more like Himself or is instilling the patience in me that I had prayed for the night before.

I came across this quote a few years back and have loved it ever since...

“Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones. When you have finished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.” -Victor Hugo

It reminds me that even in the times that God is unbearably silent and seems to have fallen asleep in the middle of a "major crisis", He is and always will be wide awake.

The Trouble with Life is that it is so Daily

If Rome could have been built in a day, it would have been done. But it couldn't.

The older I get, the more I realize that life takes time, its takes work, and ultimately it takes perseverance. Let's take college for example. How many people actually remember what they learned in school once they get out? Not many. To quote my dad, "College is proving to yourself, to others, and to our Lord that we are capable of finishing something that we started." Isn't it the same with our relationship with Christ? We have to pursue Him everyday and it takes time, it takes work, and ultimately it takes perseverance. But How often do I leave the house worried about the pressures of the day without spending more than 5 minutes with Him? What's sad about this is, I know and have experienced the reality that real and genuine life is ONLY found in the person of Jesus Christ, but instead of harboring this truth in my heart, I spend my day searching. Searching for that boy, that dress, that thing that will finally fill the void in my heart and make me whole. I love the way Ataris puts it in one of their songs,

"We spend our whole lives searching for

All the things we think we want
And never really knowing what we have."

The answer is inside of me.

" [That you may really come] to know the love of Christ, which far surpasses mere knowledge; that you may be filled unto all the fullness of God [may have the richest measure of the divine Presence, and become a body wholly filled and flooded with God Himself]!

Ephesians 3:19, amplified

What more could I want?

There is Nothing to Fear

I never imagined I would struggle with fear the way I have over the past couple of weeks. I hate that I don't trust God the way I should. This whole situation makes it apparent that my faith isn't anywhere near where it should be and that I place way to much value on this Oh so temporary and dare I say fleeting life. For days now I have been trying to uncover what it is that I am actually afraid of. Am I afraid of living alone because I fear the possibility of a tragedy taking place while I am asleep? Or does my fear resort back to my years of not believing the truth that God is good and that he has my best interest in mind?

I want to say that I believe this truth now- but I feel like if I really believed "that everything-the means, the ends, and all the processes of individual life is covered by His goodness" then while I may not always be "fearless", I would trust Him more than I do the majority of the time.

All I know is...

if I were truly abiding in Christ the way I ought to be, I would have peace.

if my life was genuinely and solely devoted to Him, I would careless what "mortal man could do to me."

if I loved Him the way He Loves me, I would see the righteousness in His life and pursue it in my own.

And if I had REALLY experienced the JOY that He promises, I would desire it more than the temporary "lusts of the flesh."

But even though right now I cannot see past my fearfulness, I know somewhere down deep inside I trust Him. I also know that he promises to lead me, to go before me and make my crooked ways straight and my rough places smooth, and that following Him is SO much better than following a "secure well-known path" that ultimately leads to emptiness.

"And the Lord went before them by day in a pillar of a cloud, to lead them by the way: and by night in a pillar of fire, to give them light; to go by the day and night." Exodus 13:21